I always forget that job hunting is in fact a full time job in itself. I have spent approximately six hours a day sifting through reams and reams of online lists looking for and applying to what seems like an infinite list of very basic job descriptions to no avail. I have thoughtfully and faithfully applied myself to some of the most mundane and boring job applications known to man, and not even received an AUTOMATED EMAIL to say ‘Thank you for wasting your time writing out what I’m sure was a carefully planned and original job application’. I have not received ONE response, which can only mean that whichever idiot that told me to leave out the well-thought-out personal statement which introduced my work history, is simply just an idiot, as I used to get far more response than this with a CV which followed NONE of the conventions of CV writing set out by ‘THE MAN’.
The thing is, I’m applying to rather a lot of marketing and communications jobs at the moment, making use of every SOCIAL NETWORKING site known to man, diving to the murky depths of Totaljobs, Monster, Indeed, Prospects, Milkround and every recruitment agency with a telephone number and a website. I have even gone as far as sharing with them the web address to this blog so that they can get really up, close and personal with me, but I guess it’s like that line that Daniel Atlas uses as his motto in ‘Now You See Me’; “The closer you look, the less you see”. Maybe I should treat it like an online dating profile and not show them all my best cards at once, you know, string them along like a girl who just wants to have fun.
It’s kind of like being the ugly girl at the party. You put on your best dress, cover up the blackheads with foundation, powder and a bit of bronzer,you’ll line your eyes and flatter them like they’ve never been flattered, and tuck yourself into tight Spandex pants to make the wobbly bits less wobbly, yet even a simple hello to some of the least catchy men at the party is met with a one word response before you return to the comfort of your friends who will lovingly ply you with white lies about how they cannot believe how you can’t get what you want. My apologies for the dark metaphor, it is the only thing remotely close to the rejection of a job application.
The final straw of rejection came through this morning when even the Preston benefits office rejected my application on the grounds of some sort of tax review that they carried out from the last two years, not really explaining what it was, but nonetheless, unless I go back into the thankless world of hospitality soon. All I thought was ‘Oh great, I’m even lower than Lancaster’s chavs’ I am going to be eating baked beans for eternity.
To summarise my last 4 months is a relatively tricky task. I quit my Windermere job as I believed I was meant to do bigger things. First lesson learned. Don’t do things on a whim or because you have some sort of notion that you are God. Suck up the things you don’t like until you are sure you can safely move onto the next big thing. That whim resulted in the next semi-poor life choice: I spent three weeks on the dole (to American readers that means state unemployment benefit) before taking a telesales role on the other side of the country. That lasted for three weeks. I sailed through training. I am excellent at learning, retaining and demonstrating that I have absorbed information for an exam situation I have spent years and years mastering cramming and proving it successful (I have never failed a crammed exam yet). Application of knowledge is a different matter entirely. In the sink or swim situation that is telesales, I sank like a block of lead in the Atlantic and was fired after 2 weeks on the phone. This resulted in my return to Lancaster where I have been back on unemployment benefits and learning to drive for the last 6 weeks.
So when it comes to hating your job vs being unemployed it is actually a toss up between base drudgery but constant activity and complete boredom, I would choose the drudgery right now, but only because I know that the two are equally shit, but at least if you’re earning money then you don’t have to feel quite so guilty about spending it but reward yourself in varied ways. If you reward yourself repetitively you will become more bored and more hateful of your life.
I have 9 months to pay off £600 of overdraft. For the next 9 months I choose the money and I have not got a moment to waste.
Well, the good news is I got the job. The bad news is, I hate it and I’m already ill (Fresher’s Flu I imagine).
Started on Friday night. The other staff are lovely so that’s always a win, but since coming back to work they’ve done some serious job cutting and now we’re severely understaffed, though mgmt don’t seem to realise it. I’m not going to go into the ins and outs of serving students, but I am seriously knackered, and have barely had time to catch up with myself before starting another shift. Going to have to have a chat with Mrs Boss about cutting down my hours so I can actually concentrate on my degree, although having money is nice.
Also went out on Friday night with my housemates. Well 2 of them. One had her French boyfriend over so we thought we’d give them the house to have plenty of loud-lover-time together without us hearing it. Not sure in that situation who would be more embarrassed. Anyway, was a fabby night. We danced for a bit then went to socialise on the smoking terrace, where my friends all fell in love with a guy with a very hairy chest (I admit that I thought he was fit too until he stood up and I realised I was taller than him). I eventually started chatting to some other guy, who was also rather pretty, I gave him my number but forgot to take his. Ahh well, shit happens!
Since then, my life has revolved around getting up and going to work, then coming home and doing it all again. It’s very tiring and I hope to have a life again soon before I get to the brink of insanity.
Had a very weird dream about my old geography teacher last night, that he took us on a tour of the world in 2030, and everyone was transported around on log-flumes. I don’t know what my subconscious is playing at!
Anyway ciao fellas!