Category Archives: fantasy

A short piece about bacon.

Standard

Everyone loves bacon. Well everyone who isn’t vegetarian that is to say. Bacon is the meat of life. I haven’t actually eaten any bacon today, but I plan to get my bacon out of the freezer and put it in the fridge so that I may have bacon and eggs tomorrow. My favourite German adjective “baconsche” as in “in the style of Francis Bacon, who is incidentally a pretty cool artist, you know, a little bit abstract. I think I actually prefer the smell of bacon to the taste and texture of the meat itself. The warm, salty comforting smell wafting through a house with the slight homely smell of burning logs combined with fresh coffee is the best kind of wake up one could wish for. The crunch of bacon, sandwiched in a roll of springy, soft white bread, with melted butter oozing through a paper napkin is always the greatest kind of sandwich. Little squares of bacon to compensate the boring texture of salad, just tossed in, making it nice and salty and crunchy.

Bacon really is the most satisfying meat.

If I had a superpower…

Standard

Back when I was at secondary school, I was OBSESSED with Heroes. Generally any sort of storyline which involves people with superhuman abilities has always kept me fascinated and entertained and I have always wondered if ever I was to be landed in a sweetie shop situation where each plastic tub contained a different power and I could only choose one, which one I would choose.

Flying- This is often the one that most children dream of, who wouldn’t want to be able to go anywhere they wanted in the world, getting the full bird’s eye view and spitting on their enemies. It has been pretty highly rated, but then if you’re not very aware of things like turbulence and vortexes then you might come to a crunchy end.

Telepathy- I’ve always kind of wanted to be able to do this, as I can be very socially awkward so it could always help me to say the right thing. Problem is, if someone is thinking something you’d rather not hear, or if you discovered a big secret, what’s to stop me from interfering with things that I shouldn’t meddle in?

Moving objects with my mind (or telekinesis as Heroes calls it)- this would be awesome, but I can only think of a few times when it would be useful. 1) When the T.V remote is too far away to reach 2) a replacement for general laziness. I think that having “telekinesis” would just result in me getting really fat and lazy.

Super-speed- I think this one appeals the most, however it does require being a bit more coordinated than me, and I’m also not really built for speed, also, how many calories would you burn off? Wouldn’t you get a stitch from running really fast?

Ability to heal- This is kind of boring, but also really cool since I seem to get into a lot of accidents. Though if I knew that every time I fell, I would instantly regenerate, I would definitely part-take in many more extreme sports.

For now though, I think it’s time I stopped fantasizing about the impossible and maybe just tried to perfect a talent a little closer to home. For 2013, I want to become good at just one thing. Time to start taking guitar lessons perhaps?