Category Archives: emotional

So this is 2017?!

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So this is 2017?!

One of my friends from work mentioned to me today that she had found my blog, I was actually quite surprised as I rarely update or share on social media feeds, but it did remind me that I haven’t updated for a while.

So Christmas came and went, it was both quiet and busy. Our family was quite subdued and quiet really as my grandmother passed away two weeks before it, so we were still feeling a bit weird about celebrating Christmas. My step-grandfather came over with the dogs though for Christmas day and we toasted to “absent family members”- my brother is also away with the army at the moment (nowhere dangerous!)

For a bit of escapism I went over to my boyfriends where things were far busier.. He has a massive family, full of hot-blooded French folk too, so lots of (what I hope was lighthearted) bickering, laughter, and crowded spaces. He has a great family though, they’re all good at conversation and warm and welcoming so it’s never a problem going over there, though I do find myself getting a tad oversocialised as it’s difficult to deal with long conversations with people you don’t know very well.

I have been attempting to grow up a bit as of late (ha! yeah right!) I opened a ‘Help to Buy ISA‘, in the hope that one of these days I will move out and stop being a late 20 something living at home at their parents. I don’t think they mind me being there though as I have been cooking up all sorts of feasts for my parents lately with a focus on it being nutrient dense and lower calorie. I also opened an additional savings account for rainy days, further education and hopefully a couple of cheeky holidays so it’s not all bore and snore.

I have also recently taken an interest in minimalism, and done a massive chuck out of clothes, old cosmetics, paper, books and just general clutter whilst repeating the mantra of Joshua Fields Millburn “Does this add value to my life?” Every time I am tempted to buy something I repeat this to myself and usually discover that the answer is “no“. It has been working for nearly a month, and I have actually seriously saved a shed load of money with this mindset (might be exaggerating slightly). It’s also made my life neater and more organised. It takes far less time to do housekeeping on my rooms. I know exactly where I need to locate important documents and I have actually found myself way less stressed as a result of just being tidier and fretting less over my stuff.

Concentrating on boiling my life down to the essentials has also made me think about my life in a much more holistic sense and made me question how I actually want to live. I have started questioning the career paths that are more visible to me. I still have no idea what I want to do, but I know now what I am not willing to do in the name of money when there are other ways that just require a bit more work to discover or even set up on my own steam. I have reassessed some of my life goals and I am figuring out ways to lead a life that is more fitting with my beliefs in terms of health, inner happiness and environment (cue loads of hippie barf on its way). No not really, just live a better life.

I think much of this has been aided by changes at work. I have actually decided that my last team leader is a guardian angel of sorts, and though massively inconvenient for him, he made sure I got out of a position that was making me more miserable than Eeyore. I am eternally grateful and will do my damnedest to make sure I buy him several luxury beers. Sure, I’m not in a better paid role as an administrative assistant, but my head is the clearest it has ever been in about 5 years and I actually have the space in my brain to think about what is really important rather than just hating on customers, management, everyone else for seeming so bloody happy (wake-up call, they’re not). I have energy to cook real meals with actual fresh vegetables and ingredients, to write, read books rather than passively wiping the drool off my chin as I stare at the moving figures on a screen (I am joking of course, this hasn’t happened yet- give it another 60 or so years!).

So that just about brings me up to date. Well done if you have made it this far! I will also make a sort of late new year’s resolution to update this more frequently!

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Things I enjoy…

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I have been sat at this computer for nearly 5 hours and achieved the big fat zero. Perhaps it’s because I have been in an incredibly blasé mood all day. I started off by watching ‘Nick and Norah’s infinite playlist’ which is great. Watch it if you haven’t seen it.

I want to write a quick post about everything that I have enjoyed this week, which are only small pleasures, mostly musical, which have made the work load slightly easier.

#1. Not having tonsilitis anymore. I am fully appreciating the full use of my ability to swallow (roll on jokes about blow-jobs). No. It is more just for my enjoyment of chocolate/ solid food.

#2. Scott Pilgrim vs The World: Quick film review: Scott must fight Ramona’s 7 evil exes. Great script, awesome one-liners, Michael Cera, great use of street fighter style effects, fantastic soundtrack.

#3. Listening to the following bands: The Used, Taking Back Sunday, A Great Big Pile of Leaves, Jordan Klassen, Kishi Bashi

#4. Going for coffee with Karla

#5. Trying a Malteser Easter Bunny… I know, it’s January, but why not?

#6. Doing laundry (honestly, even this rates more highly than writing essays)

#7. Tidying my room (see above excuse)

#8. The satisfaction of emptying the dehumidifier

#9. Contemplating going to the gym, then deciding not to. Sweating can wait a few more days yet

#10. Talking to friends I haven’t spoken to in a while on facebook.

26 reasons why my life will never be a Taylor Swift music video…

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Image from: http://vimeovideo.blogspot.co.uk/2012/08/taylor-swift-you-belong-with-me.html

Let’s face it, the songs are catchy, the videos feature a lot of Swifty depicting a(n often failing) relationship with a very hot guy.

a) My hair will never be wavy and blonde

b) I will never look as elegant in a ball gown.

c) I can’t sing. Ask my friends/ house-mates

d) I’m not as endearing as dear Taylor.

e) I’m not 6ft

f) or size 8 for that matter

g) I am far more cynical than dear Swifty about all things men and relationships

h) I can’t play guitar

i) I don’t have any spare squirrel costumes

j) Or a wardrobe with that many pyjamas

k) If a guy dumps me, or just isn’t interested, the first thing I do is hit the wine/ chocolate, I don’t dance around my room singing about it.

l) I have had American people explain to me numerous times what bleachers are. I will never understand why they are called bleachers. Why can’t they just call them seating areas. It’s far more straightforward.

m) I can never see myself telling a guy “you are the best thing that’s ever been mine” without laughing hysterically as I do it.

n) My life isn’t set in a series of romantic lakes, forests or cafés.

o) I have never compared any of my relationships to Romeo and Juliet

p) and on that note, I think we are way past the age when men asked the girl’s father’s permission for her hand in marriage.

q) my family background is relatively stable and sound, I need a bit more sorrow in my life to make the cut for a Swifty music video

r) I don’t wear thick rimmed glasses with the lenses punched out, because I can accept that I have 20:20 vision.

s) I don’t have a band at my disposal every time I have a break- up

t) or a ballroom

u) my bedroom is a box. So there’s no  room for tantrums or angry dancing/ air guitaring,without sending my whiteboard/ noticeboard flying!

v) there is no hot guy neighbour whose bedroom window looks into mine, as we gaze longingly at each other, falling that little bit more in love every day.

w) There is a distinct shortage of elegant white ponies around here. Plus health and safety regulations mean I can’t keep one in my bedroom and play my non-existent guitar to it.

x) There have been times after break-ups when I thought… “well actually, we might get back together…”

y) When it’s December where I’m from, you can’t sit in the house in a skimpy vest top and bare feet. You need hoodies galore, fleecey pj’s and ski socks.

z) I don’t have edgy, cool, vintage furniture. Instead I have a mattress with broken springs, a broken chest of draws and a desk designed for toddlers.

Packing up for final year…

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Packing up for final year…

When you first start university, you’re excited at the prospect of going back every semester to see all your friends, have some privacy from the parents and to rearrange your tiny bedroom/ hovel each time you get back. Now that I’ve done the year abroad and lived in 4 different places over the last 15 months (twice France, twice Germany) I am a little fed up of that “living out of a suitcase” feeling. It gets tiring doing all this packing, then unpacking it all again the next day, the long journeys, waiting around in airports and just in case I don’t mention it enough, the hours spent folding clothes and hanging them up, then knowing you’ll have to do it all over again in 3 months time. Call me a grumpy pessimist all you like, that’s just the way I see it. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy my year abroad (because it was actually bloody brilliant), I just really hate packing!

This year, I know it won’t be the last time- in fact, with the jobs I have in mind, I could be doing this for years to come, but I thought I’d rant about it anyway. There are several emotions that you go through whilst packing, which I thought I’d share…

1) Elation- that I will be leaving this rainy Lancashire climate, for what I hope will be a slightly warmer one “down South” in Leicester (My fingers are crossed). The ultimate joy of course is the prospect of seeing all the friends that I haven’t seen for a year, as well as those that I have.

2) Boredom- I absolutely loathe folding clothes and trying to make the place I’m about to leave tidy for when I next come back and so that my mother doesn’t feel the need to come in and spring clean.

3) Nostalgic- It’s only times like this when you come across tokens from the past, big and small of memories such as nights out, old tickets from trips away, ex-boyfriends clothes, family pictures and strangely I found myself having a laugh reading old school reports “Sarah really needs to put more focus into her work if she wishes to succeed”.

4) Stressed- I always leave it really late, then you realise there are still many so many things you want to do before you leave like saying goodbye to friends, then damn, you forgot to send off that really important form which will get you money whilst you’re away, and oh shit, where the fuck are the keys and details of how to get into the new house????

5) A teensy bit guilty- for ranting about boring Lancashire is to Mum. Asking all the time why ever they thought to move to Lancaster of all places in Britain, was there nowhere more exciting/ warmer we could have gone, then leaving her here alone for a few months (we’re all grown ups in our family now, well maybe not me). I make a note to myself that I must remember to  call the parents more often than I currently do, drop them alone and let them know I didn’t drown in a pool of my own vomit outside a club.

Hope you enjoyed my rant. Big loves and peace out!

It’s raining, it’s pouring, it’s nearly 11 o’clock in the morning.

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It’s raining, it’s pouring, it’s nearly 11 o’clock in the morning.

Time for a daily report of absolutely nothing. The rain is still coming down by the bucket load, the clouds unrelenting. I swear that Lancaster has its own rainy micro-climate. The other day when I was on the train back home, literally got just past Galgate and it started raining immediately. I have barely seen the sun these last few weeks. No wonder I look a bit like a vampire these days, especially as I have lost my make-up wipes and there is a smudge of eye-liner and mascara deepening the shadows under my eyes. This crap weather is making me feel really lethargic as well, there is nothing worse to me at the moment than the idea of going out there for a stomp around the countryside, as I will inevitably get soaked and miserable.

Reading the Hunger Games part two, it’s one of those non-put-downs, which I wasn’t expecting, but then if I was going to narrate my life, that’s probably about the same tone I’d use, only I am definitely not starving or controlled by some sort of crazy post-apocalyptic dictatorship! Though talking of that, I did find this somewhat rather amusing article in the Guardian about some American security agent writing to Americans and telling them to prepare for Zombie Apocalypse…http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2011/may/19/us-officials-prepare-zombie-apocalypse, I’m a tad sceptical about how real it is, but nonetheless, still entertaining.

With that, I bid you good day and better weather than I’ve got.