I realised today after several attempts at trying to make my voicemail box greeting a bit more employer friendly, just how northern I sound now, compared to a year ago. I don’t know how the transformation occurred, particularly as I have been away from the accent.
I have no idea where the hell this accent comes from, I can only guess that the reason was homesickness or actually using the accent as impersonation type humour, which like cross-eyed kids, will get stuck eventually.
I have a couple of American friends here and there, and although I have endeavoured to master this (sometimes frightful) accent, my attempts were often deemed too unconvincing or too offensive.
So a few nights in and several episodes of Live at the Apollo and 8 out of 10 Cats later, I found myself turning up the Lancashire, more just out of empathy with northern comedians such as Lancastrian, Jon RIchardson (weird crush 2k12?) as a bit of Lancaster loving, then took it too far and I now sound to put it shortly, common Trying several times to make answerphone greetings , which were a) comprehensible and b) potential-employer-friendly, is quite a time consuming task when you have the occasional telephone induced stutter and swear like a sailor. The latter is an issue to address which I must add to my ever-growing list of resolutions.
I now make a promise unto myself that I will at least give Queen’s English a try and stop using the words “fuck”, “bollocks” and most importantly “shit”.
This could prove quite problematic as my favourite proverbial saying is “no shit, Sherlock” and “fuck” is my own vocal form of punctuation, with “bollocks” giving my speech a regular tea-bagging.
I think I may have to make a swear box, but I need some replacement curses, which are witty and catchy. Suggestions?